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Pain Paradox

Maryam Ebtehadj

Updated: Jul 26, 2024





Pain is an undeniable, valid, and even necessary part of human experience. 

It always was. 

And always will be.



There is something paradoxical about pain. 


When we resist it,

Deny it,

Numb it,

Hate it,

It magnifies, expands, takes over, becomes heavier, persists, gets stuck, solidifies, intensifies, and turns into excruciating psychological and physiological suffering. 


But when we surrender to it, ironically we gain more control. 


When we turn towards it

With open arms,

And accept it

It shrinks, dissipates, flows, becomes softer on the edges, runs its process, moves in our body, mind, and soul, and becomes more tolerable if not completely subsides. 


And there are times it doesn’t shrink or subside,

But we expand and soften the inner space around the pain. We outgrow the pain. 


Either way, our experience of pain changes dramatically. It feels as if a miracle has happened. The pain is not that intense anymore. 


Leaning into pain is compassionate. 

It may seem counterintuitive at first but stay with it. 


Pain can come in many forms: loss, grief, sickness, rejection, loneliness, or lack.


When you notice the presence of pain,


1- Become aware of it


2- Recognize it, Name it


3-Accept it

Turn towards it

Don’t run away from it

Stay with it

Open up to it

Meet it with compassion


4- Breathe into it

Breathe into the inner space area surrounding it

Release the built-up pressure around it

Expand around the pain


5-Gently move your body if it’s possible for you

Let the pain flow

And dissipate 

And soften

As you move or melt into it. 


6- Notice how your experience changes. 

Record your thoughts and feelings.

What do you think now?

How do you feel?

What is the intensity of pain?

What did you learn from this experience?


Write back and tell me how your experience with pain changed when you opened up to it. I would love to hear your story


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